well hello there non readers

So I started doing Fly Lady again.  I figured this time will be the charm.  Things I have learned about it this time around.  I really am not as disorganized as I thought.   While my house looked like a giant mess a good portion of the time, at least to me.  It never really was that bad though.  I am tooting my own horn only because I am on day 7 and my house is practically spotless.  Now I am just fighting the procrastinator in me.  The house really isn't bad at all so there is no need for me to do anything right now.  I'll just wait till it gets messy.  That is the one thought that usually messes me up. My dumb need to feel so overwhelmed with what I'm doing in order for me to be worth doing at all.  Does it make it sense?  No.  It doesn't.  AT ALL!  Why would anyone do this to themselves?  Yet, I always play the same game.  sigh

I want a laptop or tablet or something.  Usually by the time I have five seconds to sit at the computer I am just to tired to sit on that uncomfortable  chair.  I want to be able to just sit in my bed comfortable and relaxed.  Not on a hard chair.  I keep avoiding the internet because of it.  And I keep wondering how it was that I used to sit here for so long all day.  It makes no sense to me. 

I did something to my knees last week.  Well my left one.  I still don't know what.  All I know is that it has been hurting me a lot.  I haven't been able to walk right since last Wednesday.  So the added stress has messed up my shin, my calf, my thigh and my foot.  As well as messing up my right knee.  Now don't get me wrong, I have had knee pain for years.  They have been bothering me since I was about 9 but nothing like this.  Usually, I just deal with if but if they become real bad I take some Motrin which takes the edge off.  UMMMM, my doctor has recommended against that and all other joint pain meds for the time being.   All the ant-inflammitory (sp?)pain meds fall under a drug classification of NSAIDs.  They are known for causing attacks.  And being that I just got out of the 3 day hospital stay for inability to breath , my DR. felt it was in my best interest to take  some tylenol and just take it easy.  Knee pain is better than not being able to breath or something.  I'm just scared of what this pain is going to become when I'm completely off the steroids.  If steroids is what they give a lot of people for knee problems and I am this bad.   What the fuck is going to happen to me by the end of this week?  I can barely walk as it is?  Kill me. 

Alright I have to get moving and try and sort some laundry.  I am seriously procrastinating it though.  Last time I tried sorting laundry I had to go to the hospital.  hahahahahahaha I need a maid. 

woohoo!!!

I successfully managed to walk both dogs this morning without going back to the hospital.  :)  It was seperately but I did it.  You will only know what an difficult task this is if you walk my Dog Aza one day.  She is terrified of everything.  Everything on the planet earth that exist outside of my apartment.  More than half the time walking her can be torture because she goes into panic mode and we have no way of getting her out of it.  I am the only one who  is able to keep her the calmest and that isn't bery calm at all.  Luckily I'm not wheezing.  :D  Maybe life will get back to normal now.

Stupid steroids

The stupid steroids and the lack of productivity had me crying over tacos tonight. Also the whole world feels like its crashing in on me. Thankfully tomorrow I will be down to four pills. Also I'm going to try and clean the house because if I keep being unproductive I might kill someone.

Everything I have read about skin tones suggEst that I am either a warm or a neutral, sonwhybis it that gold and bronzy colors always make me look like as pale as a ghost?

Rememeber...

Remember when I used to make fun of the impotence commercials because of the disclaimer that said "you should only take this,if you are healthh enough for sexual activity.". Remember how i said it was impossible to not be healthy enough.....sigh

Excuse my typos. Typing from touch phone. Toucbphone seems to multiply my typos by a thousand.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

I haven't blogged in a while.  I have been really busy over the past few months and usually when I finally have some free time, all I want to do is lay in my  bed.  Not sit on a computer chair. So I end up doing facebook and words with friends from my phone and that is it. 

Today, however, the last thing I want to do is lay in bed. It sounds like freaking torture to me.  I just don't wanna.   That is all I have been doing since this week started.  Which is crazy.  I am not the most active person out there but I am definitely not the type of person who just sits there.  I can't.  Except there are days that I am unbelievably busy and going non-stop, where I secretely wish I could be whisked away for a couple of days where all I would do is lay in bed and watch tv and read books.  Be careful what you wish for.

Husband caught a cold last week and brough it home.  I caught the stupid bug from him, but unlike him instead of being over in two days.  I caught an asthma attack instead.  Sunday I mainly stayed home laying in bed sleeping. I went out to the fair with the husband and daughter so we could have some zeppoles and she could go on the ferris wheel.  big mistake! All the smoke from the stands hit my lungs.  I kept wheezing despite using my inhaler and the nebulizer .  I kept going doing what I had to do anyways because I had shit to do and it had to get done.  The wheezing continued.  Tuesday I go up and I was unable to take Bella to school.  I just couldn't breathe.  I made an appointment for the doctor.  And my dr gave me some prescriptions but he said he wanted me to go into the hospital because it looked like i was too tired to breathe.  I decided to just go home.  I didn't want to go to the hospital at all.  I went home.  next morning I called my mother and asked her to come over and help me out a little.  She was all mad at me but came anyways.  by 3PM.  My lungs started shutting down.  The medicine wasn't helping me.  My mother calleed 911 at about a quarter to 4.  They rushed me to the hospital.  I was there for two days.  It sucked. 

I'm still not ok.  My dr was mad taht they had discharged me.  he thinks I'm still not well enough and put me on some really strong meds.    This whole week has sucked. 

I can't even think of anything else to type now because I am so tired again.  stupid lack of oxygen,.  booooo!!!!!!

OH EM GEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The new battle in feminism is defending your right to stay home and be a housewife.  Seriously.  I swear if one more person congratulates me for getting  a job or tells me how proud they are of me, I am going to fucking punch someone in the face.  Well its not the congratulating part that bothers me.  Its the way they say it.  The tone in their voice, as though I am finally doing something with myself,.  You would think that I had been living in my parents basement getting drunk and high for the last six years.  The fact that I was cooking, cleaning, taking care of dogs, cats and a child had while keeping my man happy apparently took less effort than scratching my ass.   Its nothing, nothing at all.  Why the fuck do I need to be congratulated for leaving my house and working for someone else?  Its something some 70% of the planet does.  Its not that special.  I'm not downplaying how hard everyone else works or even how hard I work.  Its just that the fact that I started working should not be treated as some kind of special event. As though, I had some kind of mental disability that prevented me from doing things and someone finally took pity on me and decided to hire me.  Chill the fuck out people!  Its not that big a deal and if I decided to quit my job and go back to being a stay at home mom again, it would totally be ok.  There is nothing wrong with that. I shouldn't have to defend that option.  ahhhhhhhhhhh